the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
