today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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