there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
