You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize