he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
