Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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