i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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