She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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