Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
