Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
