anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
