people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
