Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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