Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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