ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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