But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
