Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
