So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
