Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
