This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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