I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
