I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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