Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
