It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
