i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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