So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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