There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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