His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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