glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Every concussion has its silver lining
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
