How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
