i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
