is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The power of my boobs compel you
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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