Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's rum buckets o'clock
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
