Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
