My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
