we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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