We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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