I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize