Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
