she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do vagina's smell?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
