As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
