I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
