guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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