i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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