I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
