Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
