I look better un-naked...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
