I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
