I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
