Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize