One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Damn victory sex feels great
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
