im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
