he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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