yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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