i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
