just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
