I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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