We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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