the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He better not be in your backpack
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
