Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
