So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
