im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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