Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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