He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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