singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No subtext here. People are naked.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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