I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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