I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
