You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
