loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
