im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
