shes about as inviting as chlamydia
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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