Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
