I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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