Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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