i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
